Vow.

Lollipops & Razorblades.

“Send me your flowers of your December.  Send me your dreams of your candied wine.”

Until death do us part doesn’t seem to mean shit anymore.  This past weekend was an interesting one, although Sparrow and I were not involved in either of the ceremonies, really that is alright.  There is a little bit of a back story to one of the recently wed couple, I do not want to relive it, it seems though that no one will ever seem to let it die. Both of these couples are from the yoga studio that we belong to  . . . the drama that festers within these wall of “finding your inner peace” and “knowing the difference between effort and surrender” the god damn Dali Lama himself would have thrown up his hands and walked away from this place.  Sometimes I love this studio . . . sometimes I think it’s an absolute waste dump for the anorexic mindless nitwits who want desperately belong to “something” it becomes all encompassing.  I mean really at the end of the day, if you belong to a yoga studio and love yoga shouldn’t you be doing yoga? They sit around and spew all the garble . . . yes there is something to it, but you really should practice what you preach, like on your mat.  Or  just do what I do  . . . shut the fuck up and go to yoga practice.  I digress.  One of the couples was a lesbian couple they have been together for about six months, adore them, they said that the whole marriage idea came from Sparrow and I.  How we were going to through some caution to the wind and just say screw the wedding and get married  . . .  glad that we could be some sort of a touch stone along the way. Gotta love the gays, and really at the end of the day lesbians are moving in together in less then a week after dating so they get a pass with passing the finish line to married life.  Thats right, what I have been saying to Sparrow since the delay of our marriage . . . it is a marathon not a sprint, whats with the rush? Today’s forever is only until the next best thing.

This brings me to the other couple that wed this weekend in a very traditional ceremony.  The bride wore a white sweetheart lace strapless gown, she carried a bouquet of calla lilies  and walked down the aisle to the “man of her dreams, she like any good soon to be housewife does, promptly quit her job in order to become controlled.  She just gave up herself, her independence and her soul to a man that is now her puppet master.  The backstory, the abridged version, I became very friendly with this man while he was dating his new bride, they broke up, we kind of hooked up but mostly I bared a lot to this man. Not my body my self, I let him in a little to see me for who I really was.  He ended up being plainly full of shit, I fell for it, I needed a friend  and he was more then willing.  While he was in the process of breaking up with his new bride, he told me many things that he could not get past with her.  The bride was just very simple, she was the straight and narrow never veering off.  She agreed with everything that he said, she condoned his cheating on multiple occasions, hell she even wanted to friend me knowing whatever spin he put on the situation.  He told me that she never questioned him or held him accountable.  He thought that he found what he wanted in a person like me, I was complicated, dark, witty and was surly not a teacher in sweaters.  I was someone that kept him on the edge, unpredictable.  Later though the groom went crawling back, well I don’t know how hard he had to crawl she was practically waiting for him to shit on her all over again.  From my knowledge there were “rules” that were set in place because the bride had implemented ultimatums. I never knew a relationship to work out well with ultimatums, have you? That would mean that someone would have to agree to change who they are in order to become something else, something that is inauthentic.  I have stated before that a leopard does not change its spots, the groom definitely did not.  He has her so locked down so that he can go off and eventually do whatever it is that he wants.  The bride will be unemployed with soon to be children, her self-esteem in the gutter and will have no other choice then to accept the ultimatums that have now turned on to her.  Your husband is a cheater but hey that is a real nice facade that you both put on.  People marry for the wrong reasons, they are scared to die alone.  I mean I get it but, I am not giving up my soul.  At the end of the day I wished her a lifetime of happiness and light lord knows she is going to need it to be able to find herself one day.  Sparrow and I looked at each other, the last of the “bunch” to be tying the knot.  The world that we live in real, the struggle, the triumph, the glory  . . . I am glad to have found him.

-ApplejAxe

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~ by applejaxe on October 10, 2012.

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